(seen in my Notegraphy)
I’ve been having a lot of “l’espirit de l’escalier” moments. Times when I received stinging words, reacted with my gut (or more often than not, not reacting at all) and leaving.
Then it would happen: I play the role of an editor for a scriptwriter. I’d replay the scene in my head a thousand times.. and after I flip the script, I would come to the foregone conclusion of “I should have.”
I should have said this. I should have stayed put. I should have looked over there, spoken about that concern, and so forth. Like a craftsman reviewing his work long after being published to the world, I constantly struggle with redesigning my past’s script to a more perfect form.
I can’t take back words uttered in haste nor can I travel back to that painful moment and wittily respond with a well-thought, thoroughly
edited scripted comeback.
Those are things I can’t do and it’s silly to dwell on them.
“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be a light to me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.
He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication.” (Micah 7:8-9, ESV)
The sovereign, good God who is Almighty and loving will bring me out to the light.
I wait for His vindication.