4 years of college life is over.
I just finished watching my apartment video, made by my roommate. Brings back lots of good (and hilariously embarrassing) memories to me.
The funny thing about this graduation is that it is not like high school graduation at all. While high school graduates were giddy and goofy from leaving high school, we collegiate graduates find ourselves in a more somber situation, dealing with the next step of life… which is the rest of our life.
No elaborate parties, no fanfare or banquets for me, but into the deep I fall. There’s simply no time to sit back and let “senioritis” take over, when there’s real work to do.
High schoolers have it easier, but not necessarily any better.
I like this. I really do.
I have to confess that up until now had my life been planned out by me. To be honest, my mental map of my life had not gone past college. Sure, maybe once in a while I might fancy a thought about what it would be like to raise a family or growing old, but ever since that day happened,.. When that *particular* day happened, I saw a good glimpse of my family history and the tendency of risk-filled, short-lived lives.
I found it easy to see myself living a short life. And thus, I subtly justified my lack of forethought with the internal notion of “I’m going to die anyway, so what is the use?”
But now I find myself past the point of my mental map. I am simply not the planner of great things and I cannot hold to that misleading internal notion of fatalism at all.
Uncertainty is one of the strongest feeling that emanates my moments of stillness. The only certainty I do find is in God’s Word, the anchor for my soul.
In the past 4 years, I truly see that God has *absolutely* no reason to save me. But He did. And I am so broken to know this.
I’ve done nothing to deserve joy. But God gave me joy.
I’ve done nothing to deserve hope. But God gave me hope.
I see the opportunity to toil and labor to spread this joy and hope to others.