cloud over

Cloud over me.

When the serenade stops,
Dreams fall apart,
Reality crashes in.

Just came back from a refreshing trip at Yosemite. I have more than enough reasons to be overtly thankful to God. Yet, this cloud hangs over me.

It only takes one rumor, one bad feeling, one broken relation, to completely destroy my sense of emotional security.

So my emotions are frayed up and mopped away, but I refuse to let it interrupt my work. Regardless of my mopy state, there is truth to be heard.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.
(Psalm 42:11 ESV)

Lessons Learned:
1) People-pleasing. I recognize how deep is my idolatry of people. Clouds wouldn’t be over if I didn’t care too much for people.
2) Be an example. Is my conduct something that people would admire? Surely not this.
3) Emotion is a gift. But it’s a matter of how you use it and control it.
4) Self-control is a discipline. This extends deeply to so much areas.

T-minus 5 days until Week 0.
I feel the burdens shouldering in.
I keep telling myself to move on.
But my heart is stuck,
clouding over.
My insides brewing.
A storm is coming.
The edges of my sight greying away.
Drying away.

Life is becoming grey and cloudy.
but,
there will be rain.

No matter how much I pant, I know that it is only momentary.
Just a little longer.

There will be rain.
+Michael K

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One thought on “cloud over

  1. hi michael! now i know who mkkwon is from my blog comments :]

    it was good meeting you.

    i appreciate this post. and i can relate in a lot of ways. i’ve been re-reading “when people are big and God is small” by ed welch and “trusting God” by jerry bridges. have you read either of them? they’ve really been ministering to me.

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