I wake up and shake my head. “Too early”
After 52 minutes of tapping off-beats and silently singing hymns on the off-beat, I get up and decide that “today is a great day for a sunday morning jog!”
it was good 🙂 being able to stretch these dormant muscles & warm the old sinews is a good thing to do before sunday worship ^^
As I jogged past Arriba, a flash of memories went by & I remembered old mistakes. I shake my head as I mentally visioned what things could have been if those sins never were.
I start digging my heels and pumping the asphalt as I desperately tried to escape past phantoms.
“Run really fast.”
I gave it my all; my last “kick”, supposedly saved for the final 100m, I use it up to wear away my frustration.
I’m still not tired & adrenaline still rushes in.
Before I realize, I am back at my apartment. Sweat dripping and only 10 minutes until 7am, I feel endorphins flowing in as I victoriously paso-doble’d into my room. I feel victorious as I finally set out what I had said to do and on top of that, I believed I ran away successfully from shadows.
I hit the water and as cold water splashes down on me, cold reality hits me.
“I am helpless and hopeless”
Sobbing, & sad, i look up to the index card that I last posted
“Serve in the strength that HE provides”
I smile & thank the King for never leaving his slaves wanting. It was never up to me, using my might to muscle my way to victory. But it is all provided, the means of victory.
Thank you Lord for starting up my sunday morning jog & reminding me today of this important lesson 🙂