The Realities of the Day to Day

I had a refreshing weekend. Yet after a little time passes by, the realities of the day to day slammed me hard.

Any moment I lose focus on the attack, I can easily backslide into old sinful patterns.

Every day, I must face my inner demons, tear down their strongholds, brick by brick, one at a time. They are not just going to give it to me.

Put work in, grind it out, and push hard. It is futile to be trapped by paralysis analysis of internal debates, never bringing the focused force of determined will to bear. Sometimes you just gotta ice up and do it.

Yet this is humbling: There is a limit to man's strength. A point where adversity and pain is too much. But I know that I am not alone.

I believe in Him who redeems me. He has my hope secured. Even in utter darkness, God is in control of all things. From day to day, His Spirit empowers me to fight on.

Not Interested

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Lately I’ve been keying up my personal interactions with people. I’m noticing that everyone has ups and downs. One day, they might be passionate and engaged in conversing with you.

The other day, they may not be so inclined to speak a word with you. Their silence is enough to stomp out what you only begun to sprout.

“And that’s how a conversation dies”

All this is to say that people can be uninterested in hearing your words at that present moment. And that’s okay.

A while back, I was in that position. An acquaintance was excited to show me her findings but I felt my eyes glaze over. I feel bad about that, now that I think back.

But on that same day, I too was animated over seeing a friend. But that particular person placed a stoic front. I won’t forget that awkward 3.86 seconds of silence until she broke off our strained small chat to speak with another friend.

So she’s not interested. He’s not inclined. They’re not in the mood. What’s the big deal?

It is not impossible that she was going through a slump that day. Perhaps she had stayed up the night before, working on assignments from her night classes because she is diligently carving out her future career path yet she is having to juggle responsibilities as being a good daughter, loving the flock at her church and serving in dozens of ministries.

It is not impossible that he was not in a healthy spiritual state that moment. Maybe he’s been watching videos and reading social media updates from people that he longs to speak with but can no longer do readily so. It is probable for him to cultivate a reminiscent heart that can affect his emotions throughout the week.

Maybe the above statements are all true. Maybe not. But does it matter? It’s okay for people to be not interested in you, especially at the exact moment your line of words intersects their line of life. Ultimately you do not need their validation, nowhere as much as the words of God validating your existence and life purpose.

So what does one do when in that oh-so-awkward position? For now, I find it helpful to give benefit of doubt in my heart and move on quickly in reality. I should pray for him more. At a later time, I can ask her personally how she’s doing. Until then, I prefer ghosting or taking the initiative to end the already-dying conversation.

Well I should be leaving. +MK

My Life

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My life has done nothing but reveal how unfaithful I am and how much I deserve wrath. If it was not for His grace, I would have turned away from Him long ago.

My testimony is not my testimony of my faithfulness but a testimony about God’s faithfulness in this sinner’s life.

To Him be the glory forever.

He healed them all

Jesus, aware of this, withdrew from there. And many followed him, and he healed them all
and ordered them not to make him known.
This was to fulfill what was spoken by the prophet Isaiah:
“Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased. I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.
He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets;
a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory;
and in his name the Gentiles will hope.”

Trash

Photography by christian.plochacki

Would you give it a shot?

No. She’s trash to me.

He asked me if I’d be thrilled to take her out on a date. I replied back with my gut. My friend then chortled and stated that’s not the way for me to treat other women.

Well, lemme ask you question. Do you want to marry someone mean?

No..

Then stop being mean.

Ouch. Burn.

Even if I feel entitled to respond meanly, it gives me no license to say harsh words. Another person’s trash does not excuse mine.

Well I should be cleaning up now.

Lost

Photography by unsplash.com

One evening, I was looking for Catch.com

Over 3 years worth of sermon notes were stored in that website because my phone at the time was an Android (the Motorola Droid 1, to be exact). I used AK Notepad to take notes digitally, which synchronized with Catch.

I knew I should have backed up my files but I put it all off because once again it was 3 years worth of sermon notes to back up.

But there was a catch. I could not log in. In fact, I met this screen:

Then I found this link.

No word of warning. Just gone. All my content. Lost.

Nowadays I no longer rely on a single app. For note-taking, I returned to old-fashion granular pen-and-paper with my dayrunner journal.

But after writing, I take snapshots with Evernote’s Page Camera. It is saved in my Evernote, practically an extension of my cortex. With a simple keystroke and search away, I can dig up archived thoughts from years past.

Yet in the end, there is no such thing as a perfect one-size-fits-all system. The best productivity system is the one that gets out of your way and allows you to focus on what is at hand. My double-backed archiving method will only be as good as the archiver’s effort to review the material, remember why it was written down and crystallize the information to the mind.

If I had lost my journals and archives, I can always go back to what I have in my head and move forward.

Testing. One. Two. Three.

Write Better with Draft

This is a test post.

Made By Vadim - A collection of the most hipsterest things you can possibly find.

This is a test post, testing the functionality of DraftIn.com’s WordPress Publishing feature.1

Though I am the sole writer of this blog, I like using nifty tools to make life easier.

I hope this works out well!

My ToDo for this app:

  • Test Draft
  • Make sample post
  • Review!2

  1. DraftIn is an app created by a solo developer. It is version control and collaboration for writers. Very helpful if you have to write a lot and edit with several people. 

  2. There are two things that DraftIn cannot do:

    1. Set featured image for your WordPress blog post and
    2. Schedule/Queue your posts.

    What my workaround for this quirk is publishing my DraftIn post as a draft in WordPress (see what I did there?) in order to select featured image and schedule when to publish the post within the WordPress UI. 

Daydreamings

Photography by unsplash.com

I had a hopeful daydream today. Formerly lost, tucked away in the corner of my mind, the old dream that I once had resurfaced. What caused it to come up again? Perhaps it was my unintentional attention to the Stream, known as the Internet.

I spend too much time cyber-stalking and profile-perusing. Endless update posts of people playing and placing forward their best life now whereas I feel like I live in the mundane.

It is not healthy nor natural to feed the mind that way. At face value, it is neutral but when social media is designed to depress, it poisons the mind. Moreover I can actively feed myself temporal trash with the comfort and convenience of my phone.

So I had a dream but life killed the dream I dreamed. And I unwittingly and willingly actively kill it every day by the palm of my hand.

It’s not that I hate you. It’s not you. It’s me.

+MK

Sent from my iPhone

Flip the script

Image Credit goes to Notegraphy

Image Credit goes to Notegraphy


(seen in my Notegraphy)

I’ve been having a lot of “l’espirit de l’escalier” moments. Times when I received stinging words, reacted with my gut (or more often than not, not reacting at all) and leaving.

Then it would happen: I play the role of an editor for a scriptwriter. I’d replay the scene in my head a thousand times.. and after I flip the script, I would come to the foregone conclusion of “I should have.”

I should have said this. I should have stayed put. I should have looked over there, spoken about that concern, and so forth. Like a craftsman reviewing his work long after being published to the world, I constantly struggle with redesigning my past’s script to a more perfect form.

I can’t take back words uttered in haste nor can I travel back to that painful moment and wittily respond with a well-thought, thoroughly edited scripted comeback.

Those are things I can’t do and it’s silly to dwell on them.

“Rejoice not over me, O my enemy;
when I fall, I shall rise;
when I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be a light to me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he pleads my cause
and executes judgment for me.
He will bring me out to the light;
I shall look upon his vindication.” (Micah 7:8-9, ESV)

The sovereign, good God who is Almighty and loving will bring me out to the light.

I wait for His vindication.